Mothers Finding Balance: Meet Diana

Diana and I chatted while I was on a visit to Boston.

I started off my career while at college. I was in a junior college doing opera and musical theater, ‘in front of the camera’ work. I then took a state job in Boston and began evening classes at Emerson College. I started doing work in production and directing and found this to be much more interesting than being in front of the camera. I graduated from Emerson in 1991 and moved to California where I did freelance work and went up the ladder in the production arena. I produced and directed over 250 shows including the Emmy, Golden Globes, SAG, Grammy and Academy awards. I worked on the Opening and Closing ceremonies at the Olympics in Atlanta, 1996. I also worked as the Associate Director and Stage Manager of the Directors Guild of America. I also have extensive producing experience in live television. I did this for about 12 years and it was fun. I traveled a lot, and worked a lot. I did earn a lot of money then.

At this point, I was in my mid-thirties and my biological clock started ‘talking to me’.

By then, I had been dating my future husband for a few years and we decided to get married. I married my boyfriend in 2001, three weeks after the 9/11 tragedy. I proceeded to retire myself out of about 14 annual award shows including the Emmy, several choice awards, Oscars and MTV awards, that I was working at that time. We moved back to the New England area. By the time we moved, I was pregnant. We moved to my home town and lived with my parents for a while. If someone had told me when I left my small town at age 20-something that I would be back at some point, I would have called them crazy. But 9/11 had just happened, and it changed everyone’s thinking about family and the importance of spending time with those you love. It was important to us that the grandparents were close when we had children.

My grand retirement plan lasted 2 days.
My friend Kathy who was doing similar work got in touch with “so happy you are pregnant, so happy that you are settling down, we were just wondering if you could help. We are working on something.” I was on a plane the next day to work on the first 9/11 memorial commemoration. I have done it since, producing the victim’s name book that is read each year at the September 11th New York Memorial Event. Every year since, except this year when they did not have a ceremony and readers because of the Covid 19 pandemic. One year I had 800 individuals that I had to manage with some sense of calm in this very emotional event.

I have also worked on the Mark Twain prize for American Humor since my ‘grand retirement’. This is an award given to individuals who have had an impact on American society in ways similar to the humorist, Mark Twain. Recipients include Whoopie Goldberg, Eddy Murphy, Steve Martin and Tina Fey to name a few. It is held in Washington DC.

Soon after my initial work with the 9/11 project, I got a call that a friend wanted help on the red carpet. I answered the call and ended up directing several red carpet events again. While all this was happening, my 2 boys were babies. But, I had an amazing support system. My mother stepped up and was our nanny. I paid my mother who would greet me with a time sheet when I returned from days away at work. My husband is a huge support. The children
have never had to go to daycare. The thing about my work is that I would be busy doing 100 hour weeks, and then I would have several weeks off. When I was home, I got the kids up, did
breakfast and got them to school. I did all the regular mom things when I was home. Over the years, people have given me slack to stay home when I needed to.

We also traveled a lot as a family. Florida and California were frequent destinations where I would work and also vacation with the family. My husband and kids were able to come to many of the places where I was working. We also traveled abroad quite often. It is important to me that the children have been well traveled. They do not travel as much anymore as the children have grown and are now quite busy themselves. I have two teenage boys 17 and 15.

In 2011, my current job at Emerson as the Emerson Channel Director came open. I had not applied for a job in years. I did not have a resume so I just submitted the 7 pages of 350ish shows that I had worked on. I took the job at Emerson. Going from freelance to a desk job was quite an adjustment. I went from being off for weeks at a time after intense short bursts of 100 hour work weeks, to having to be there every day. But, it is a full time job with benefits, something that I had not had for a while. It also entails a tuition exchange program that will benefit our boys. I love the work and feel truly blessed in my current job.

Picture from Emerson College profiles

I have had quite a few amazing stints even while I have been working at Emerson. I still get to help with different projects so I take vacation when I have to be away. At one point, Kevin S. Bright became faculty at Emerson. A friend of mine got me to come with him to Kevin’s apartment. We chatted and when spring rolled around, Kevin asked me if I could come and help on the set of ‘Friends’. I joined the team and helped with the script that allowed the show to stay alive for several seasons.

Jobs like this keep me relevant in the industry and therefore helps my students. I am able to use my contacts to bring in industry professionals which enriches the program at Emerson. I am also currently the president and CEO of Walking City Production and Rentals which has over 20 years of experience in live and taped meetings, and event production. We lease custom built dressing rooms, travel trailers and are a “one stop shop” for all your production needs.

My most difficult mothering issue was leaving my babies when they were young because of work. But I always knew that everything I did was for their future, and they were in good hands with my husband and my mother. Also, I often had weeks or months off between jobs. This was great, but leaving the kids was never fun. Also, now that the boys are in their teen years, it is a completely different set of mothering skills that is required. I do not feel that I am having any parenting issues that are different from what my friends are dealing with. I encourage my teens to be truthful. With current technology and social media, the boys know that I will eventually find out what they are up to.

The passion I have for my job helps me as a mother. I enjoy doing things that I love and am good at. I know I am a workaholic. But even my job at Emerson does not really feel like a job. They are all my kids in college. I love it!

I am especially passionate about helping young women. I often sit and help them learn to communicate a confident persona. When I was younger, I was in a male dominated industry. For example at a meeting for one of the Oscars, there were 3 women and 57 men. I had to go through the schedule and do a rundown of the show. I had to communicate well. I had to deflect inappropriate talk from male team members. It is very important to keep your work life separate from your love life. Do not go out with strangers. Make good decisions, don’t tolerate anyone’s crap. Never burst into tears and run away or hide. Always be respectful. People in the creative arts ‘can be nuts’. Someone won’t like you. It is important even in such an atmosphere to do your job. Figure it out. In this industry, each job will end, and then there will be another. You must be able to adapt, exuding strength without being rude.

What do I regret the most? Not starting a retirement fund when I was young. I lived large, traveled with my family and made the most of it. N ow I am quite frugal. I feel some regret that my retirement account does not have more zeroes in it, but, I am grateful for the opportunity to make up for it. I am very cognizant of the fact that many do not get this opportunity when they get older.

I am also very aware of the difficulty that career women have balancing the various aspects of their lives. It comes down to our biology. At some point, biology kicks in and you realize you have to make a choice that is time limited if you want to have a baby naturally. People can ask ad nauseam why men on average do better in any industry. Why they advance more. Men agonize about other things, but nothing as career altering as being pregnant and having a baby. I remember thinking “what is this? I’m having a great time. What is this niggle about having a baby?” That said, I have many friends who chose not to marry, not to have children, and they are doing well too. It is a choice we as women all make at some point.

Diana.
Manager, Emerson Televison Channels, Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts.

Diana shared some amazing points for career women, especially those in the film industry, but applicable to any career path. It is extremely important to maintain professionalism and to make good decisions both on and off the job. Her statement about the importance of separating your work life and your love life is timeless advice. A misstep in this area could be career ending. All these bits of advice also help you at home. How often do we as mothers give our best at work, and then deteriorate into yelling, angry, unhappy versions of ourselves at home. Make a conscious decision to also give your husband and children the best parts of yourself. Mothers, create your team. Those who are your back up and support in your mothering journey. Don’t try to do it alone.