Joy.....and Stress!
For many, Christmas is a time of gift giving and is associated with so much stress. It is sad that the simple act of giving gifts, because Christ himself came as a gift to us, has become so commercialized. I have watched in amazement how some families have split over gifting too little or the wrong thing. Or seeing grudges develop over gifts. We have become entirely too entitled.
This is a call to cut this cycle with our children. Our family relationships should not hinge on something as superficial as “the wrong gift”.
What would it look like if folks were not stressed out about gift-giving?
What would it look like if the simple joy of family was what draws us together?
What would it look like if families did not go into debt trying to make everyone happy?
What would it look like if our children understood the true meaning of Christmas?
Whatever you do, give your children gifts that.....
Stimulates their imagination.
Let your imagination run wild here. A box of cars, a box of any kind of blocks, fabric, dolls, knitting or crochet stuff for older kids, craft stuff. The idea is to allow for free thinking and innovation.
I remember one year, we gifted our kids boxes of all sizes. Yes, we did that. It was the best year! The room was taken over by a fort, tent, hideout, secret passage and play went on forever. The kids went into “the zone” many times. You know, when they forget time and you have to look for them, or they surface for food, briefly.
Allows for boredom, so they can fill it.
Do not fret if your child tells you they are bored. It is a very important developmental step. Don’t try to fill the gap, or find some activity. Let them figure it out. When they are older, a sense of purpose during periods of boredom, even being comfortable with it periodically, is important. It’s during such times when many people are the most creative. If you keep filling these times of boredom, children will not learn to self-motivate to fill the time. Most importantly, you may be interfering with the process of discovering their gifting. That amazing thing the Lord put them on earth to do.
Allows for self directed play.
Spontaneous. Not supervised by adults. Stay at a distance and do not be in a hurry to solve your child’s problems when there is discord. Let them figure out how to share, how to problem solve, how to deal with those who tend to bully, those who tend to meanness, how to work with others and not be the bully.Â
It is amazing how children already know who among them is “not nice”. It is our job to teach them by example and by instruction. Children have different personalities. Some may need more instruction, redirection and disciplining than others. Part of learning what we teach them is through practice. This is most importantly done during play that is self directed. It is in the still, quiet, uninterrupted moments that children’s imagination, creativity and awe blossom.
Increases their appreciation for who they are.
Each child is a beautiful soul. Choose gifts that you believe will make your child’s soul hum and engage with their developing gifting and personality. Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but always defer to simplicity.
Decreases their sense of entitlement.
If your child does not show joy for whatever they get, it’s time to change something. More gifts do not mean you love your child more. Fewer gifts do not mean you love your child less. Children are very adaptable. If they are part of the economy of the home, they are aware when there is hardship. Do not try to give what you do not have. And, do not give more because you think they will love you more. If your child does not know that you love them deeply, more gifts will not change anything and may increase the sense of entitlement.
Glorifies God
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8 ESV)
Brings joy to others
There is so much character development that goes with serving others. Being kind, and giving abundantly of your blessings and wealth. You do not have to be wealthy to do it. Gifting your children with something that requires service to others has amazing dividends.
He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. (Deuteronomy 10:18 ESV). The Lord uses us, you and me, to carry out this purpose.
There are many this season who are struggling. Spread joy, give abundantly, and show the love of Christ.
Enjoy the journey!
Doc Tibbs
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