You know the feeling. That one of being “anxious”. We’ve ALL been there. We ALL experience it from time to time. But what is it, exactly?
Let’s get started with the dictionary definition:
“a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease typically about an event that is going to happen, that is an imminent event, or something with an uncertain outcome.”
Basically, you are not sure how something will turn out, and so you worry. That’s normal, and we all experience it.
Anxiety Disorder is a psychiatric condition where one has excessive apprehensiveness, worry, and distress about real or perceived threats. In anxiety disorder, a person has developed avoidance behaviors and even might have physical symptoms. Some of the possible physical symptoms include:
- panic attacks
- increased heart rate
- muscle tension
- sweating
- feeling of faintness
For children, anxiety disorder symptoms include crying, irritability, and clinginess. They may even hide, causing anxiety and stress for the rest of the family. Teenagers may turn to substance use or self-harming behaviors.
Fight or Flight
Anxiety is a natural human trait. It is a normal reaction to stressful situations. It’s your body’s response to anxiety-triggering situations that allow you to run from danger or to fight and achieve goals that may feel scary or difficult (a fight or flight response).
We have all heard of amazing feats humans do when they are anxious. People do amazing things, like lift a car off an injured person, climb out of a deep hole, or stand up for themselves.
Very often in these situations, people look back and say “How did I do that?”
My Own Experience
I had one of those experiences. I was 12 years old and riding a bike with a friend. Yes, we were riding the same bike.
Like many kids, we were doing something we shouldn’t have been, but it seemed like fun. And it WAS a lot of fun…..until it wasn’t.
We rode one of those “mom bikes”. A toddler seat was attached to the top bar, and it also had a rear luggage rack. It’s funny…..I haven’t seen those front toddler seats for a long while. Maybe my accident started the whole “get rid of the toddler seat” movement!
Anyway, my friend was sitting on the seat, steering with the handlebars. My 3-year-old brother was in the toddler seat. I sat on the luggage rack and did the peddling. We did this for about a mile and then a fast motorcycle flew past us. Like spooked horses, we lost control. We went down into a deep gully on the side of the road.
My Amazing Feat
We were all momentarily stunned, then started crying and screaming. Then, I noticed my brother had blood all over his face. I grabbed him, all 32 pounds of him, and climbed out of there. I was probably 80 pounds myself. My friend was screaming and could not get a foothold at all.
When I got up to the road, help had arrived, and an ambulance soon followed. My friend had to be hauled up with fancy equipment. Everyone’s question was “How did she do that?” How was I able to get out of there? I looked back down as they were helping my friend and thought “How DID I do that?”
I went back there a few times. I still cannot figure out how I climbed out carrying my brother. But, that is what anxiety will do for you. Feats that are ordinarily impossible somehow happen. The anxiety response is very important for survival.
If you’re wondering, my brother was OK. 
He just needed a couple of stitches for a small but ferociously bleeding cut on his forehead.
It Makes Us Human
Anxiety is just an indicator of being human. It’s one of the emotions that actually makes us who we are. However, it could indicate underlying disease when these feelings of anxiety become excessive, all-consuming, or start to interfere with daily living.
The problem with the natural emotion of anxiety becoming a disorder is that it tends to affect the people around us. A mother with an anxiety disorder, or one who is chronically anxious, will often transmit these feelings to her children. It is now known that mothers with anxiety disorders often will have children who also have an anxiety disorder. Both genetic and epigenetic factors are involved.
How Anxiety Disorder Affects Others
A child who constantly sees
their mother using poor coping mechanisms when anxious is likely to develop poor coping mechanisms, too. A parent who constantly uses avoidance, maladaptive responses (alcohol use, anger, or violence), or hiding tactics in response to anxiety is likely to impart this sort of behavior to their children.
When to Get Help
It is very important we recognize an anxiety disorder in ourselves as parents. If your friends or family keep commenting on how anxious you are, that you need to “chill”, or you might be overreacting, it could be time to do a self-evaluation. And maybe get some help. Whenever feelings become all-consuming, excessive, or interfere with daily life, this is not OK.
Unfortunately, there is a pervasive and distressing stigma attached to getting mental health help. Many mothers and fathers will instead continue with avoidant behavior. They will continue trying to compensate for their children when the symptoms are noticed.
Anxiety in Children
For children, it is very important to detect anxiety disorders in the early stages. Symptoms are milder and likely easier to treat. Dr. John Walkup spoke of this during a meeting held by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. He stated that if anxiety disorders are left untreated, children will increasingly have impaired adaptation and coping. This will result in maladaptive responses, including substance abuse, and possibly suicidal behaviors by the time they are teenagers.
Part 2 of our discussion on anxiety in children explains 8 Steps to help your child with anxiety and a possible disorder.
Enjoy the journey!
Doc Tibbs
🌷🌺🌻
CORDS: Reflections on Weaving the Tapestry of Life
Dr. Tibbs' book is a powerful meditation on the meaning of family, identity, and community. There’s something beautiful about learning to love your culture and simultaneously cultivating in your children the awareness that everyone has a culture or heritage that is important to them.
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Very informative.