In our series on anxiety in children, Part 1 looked at what anxiety actually is and when it becomes a disorder. In this Part 2 post, we will talk about what can be done about it.
If left untreated, the scope of problems related to anxiety become more and more complicated.
It is so much harder to treat anxiety in a teenager than it is in an 8-year-old. An 8-year-old with separation anxiety is likely to respond much better to treatment than a 17-year-old.
Why? Because they’ve been dealing with this for 10 years or more. The 17-year-old likely developed maladaptive behaviors. In fact, there are a LOT of mothers and fathers who have developed maladaptive behaviors in response to their OWN untreated conditions. Things like anxiety, ADHD, depression, and other more significant psychiatric disorders.
[Find out more about maladaptive behaviors.]
What To Do
What should you do if you think your child has an anxiety disorder?
Step 1
See the child’s pediatrician.
Sometimes, symptoms of anxiety may mimic major illness like thyroid, liver, or kidney conditions. It’s important to make sure the child is physically healthy before dealing with any anxiety symptoms.
Step 2
Do a self-check.
If you are struggling with anxiety, it is important to take care of YOUR health, too. If YOU are coping poorly with an anxiety disorder, then your child is unlikely to respond as well to treatment.
Step 3
Review the environment.
Recognize there may be environmental stressors causing anxiety in your child. Is there bullying going on at school? Is there some other stressor in your child’s life?
For example, are you making your teenager participate in a sport or activity they really DO NOT want to do? Are you trying to live vicariously through them? If any of these factors are involved, they should be addressed.
Step 4
Good gut health is important!
When discussing anxiety, we must mention that your child’s gut microbiome may be affecting their mental health. This is the good bacteria in your gut that is a very important part of a healthy body.
- Feed your child a healthy diet.
- Avoid processed sugars and overly processed foods as much as possible.
- Cook at home and buy organic.
I know organic can be expensive and may be out of reach. However, any food cooked at home is much better than ultra-processed foods that are staples at many fast-food joints.
A diet that contains fruit, vegetables, and good prebiotic foods helps establish a good microbiome in the bowel. This is SO important for health in general but also for mental health.
(Find out more – Does food really impact the brain and emotions?)
Step 5
Eating at home = conversations around the table.
Another advantage of eating at home? It allows space for conversation and a discussion about concerns that each family member has.
I see teens in my practice who are struggling with anxiety. In talking with them, it often becomes quite clear to me they have not had any deep or heart-felt conversations with either parent or other adults in their home for a long time.
Many teenagers with anxiety or depression really are not talking with the adults in their lives. We seem to have lost the art and joy of just conversing at home. Talking about nothing…..and everything.
Step 6
Family activities.
Storytelling, laughing together, doing an activity, biking, board games, or even just walking in the neighborhood.
ALL of these are very important things to help mental health in children, teenagers, and parents. It helps build a relationship. It’s good for everyone!
Step 7
Get therapy when needed.
In many cases where anxiety disorder is causing maladaptive behaviors, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) becomes very important. CBT is done by qualified professionals but is not always available. In fact, it’s almost impossible to get consistent behavior therapy in many rural areas.
The good news is when parents cooperate in helping their children manage their fears, this goes a LONG WAY in helping them manage their anxiety.
Step 8
Medication plays a very important role in the treatment of anxiety disorders.
Keep in mind, medication is never given in isolation. It is very important that medication for anxiety goes hand-in-hand with Cognitive Behavior Therapy. If that is not available, it becomes crucial for parents to help their children cope and develop more effective responses to situations that trigger anxiety.
Check out these helpful ideas from our friends at The Behavior Hub:
- ALL the Coping Strategies for Your Kiddos
- 5 Breathing Exercises for Your Kiddo
- 4 SUPER Easy Steps to Create a Calm Down Space for Kiddos
For younger children, anxiety disorders may resolve with age. This is especially likely if it is recognized and treated early.
Summary
It is important not to ignore anxiety in children.
These often get worse through the teenage years. If it is not recognized, anxieties often result in maladaptive behaviors in adulthood, which is even harder to treat. Mothers and fathers who come into parenting with anxiety disorders that have not been treated tend to have a harder time coping.
The most difficult thing about anxiety disorders (and other mental health disorders) is it affects the part of your body that also makes decisions.
When you have a skin condition, you can see it. You make a decision to seek medical care for it. When you have unexplained pain, you recognize it as not normal. You make a decision to do something about it.
When you are struggling with mental health, this is the same body part that makes decisions. This is one of the reasons it makes it so hard to treat. Many people do not recognize when they need help, and so symptoms persist and are passed on through generations.
It is time to recognize that many of the mental illness-defining behaviors that we tolerate can now be treated. These behaviors include being antisocial, maladaptive, aggressive, or avoidant.
We are a long way from understanding the full scope of how to manage mental health disorders. However, many people needlessly struggle or end up doing life altering or devastating acts when there is help available.
Please…..seek help if you need it.
And most of all, watch for children that might need help, too.
Enjoy the journey!
Doc Tibbs
🌷🌺🌻
Reach Out For Help
CORDS: Reflections on Weaving the Tapestry of Life
Dr. Tibbs' book is a powerful meditation on the meaning of family, identity, and community. There’s something beautiful about learning to love your culture and simultaneously cultivating in your children the awareness that everyone has a culture or heritage that is important to them.
Also available in a Kindle version.
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